Thursday, November 29, 2007
Two Versions
--a three character, and a two character, version of the play are available below--first, with three characters (two women, one man), followed by the one man/one woman text.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Limbo, Ohio 3 characters
a short play
Limbo, Ohio
a short play
by Alan Woods
Columbus, Ohio
alan0198@yahoo.com
A woman at a desk, with a ledger. A second woman, with heavy kohl around her eyes, sits next to her, a large closed basket at her feet. A middle-aged man, unprepossessing, wearing a coat and carrying a car’s steering wheel, enters, looking around, bewildered. Woman at the desk looks up.
WOMAN: Name?
MAN: What?
WOMAN (with a hint of impatience): Name?
MAN: Where am I?
WOMAN: Look, just give me your name. OK? I have a procedure to follow here.
MAN: But just a minute ago, I
WOMAN (cutting him off): Nothing special about that. What is your name?!?
MAN: Oh. Loman.
WOMAN (looking in ledger): Willy Loman?
LOMAN: Yes.
WOMAN: You’re late.
LOMAN: What?
WOMAN: You’re late. You were scheduled to be here yesterday.
LOMAN: I don’t remember any appointments yesterday. I was home yesterday. Oh, and I went to see Howard. And Biff stole the…. So I thought I’d give him a start by…. Oh. But… Where am I? Where is this?
WOMAN: Limbo.
LOMAN: Limbo?
WOMAN: Limbo, Ohio. We’re about 30 miles south of Elyria. And before you ask, no, we’re not on most maps. There’s really only one way to get here.
LOMAN: The last thing I remember is aiming the car towards that tree.
WOMAN: Well, you connected. (She points to the steering wheel.)
LOMAN (he looks at wheel): Oh. So how did I get here? This must be more than a day’s drive from the Bronx.
WOMAN (chuckles): Not if you come via the tree route. That’s one of the more usual ways to get here.
LOMAN: Oh? What are the others?
WOMAN: Mostly guns. That’s how Hedda got here. And the Mannons. Or ropes. That was my ticket. Then there’s the occasional stabbing. Juliet had to do that, though she tried poison. That was Romeo’s trip. At least you didn’t try floating down a river singing songs like Ophelia. Talk about stupid!
LOMAN: That sounds like how people die.
WOMAN: It is. More precisely, how they kill themselves.
LOMAN: Oh. So I’m –
WOMAN: Yep. Wrapped right around that tree. Pretty dramatic. (Laughs. Willy doesn’t.) Inside joke, I guess.
LOMAN: You too?
WOMAN: Everybody here. (She stands.) They call me Jocasta. I was a queen once. And a mother. Did you have kids?
LOMAN: Two. Both boys. Both had real promising futures. Both turned out to be failures. But I hope that with the insurance money….
JOCASTA: Forget that. They don’t pay when it’s suicide.
LOMAN: Oh. Shit! Forgot that part! Did you have kids?
JOCASTA: Two daughters. And a son.
LOMAN: They turn out OK?
JOCASTA: Don’t ask.
LOMAN: So this is really Limbo?
JOCASTA: Yes. Limbo, Ohio.
LOMAN: Why is Limbo in Ohio?
JOCASTA: They couldn’t think of anyplace that was more in-between. I don’t know it, myself. Haven’t left this place since I got here. Of course we can’t leave.
LOMAN: I sold in Ohio. Or tried to sell in Ohio. I think it was that last trip to Tuscarawas County that did me in. Didn’t sell a thing. They’re right. It’s all in-between. Too dull for heaven, too boring for hell. So we’re stuck here?
JOCASTA: Yeah. It’s better than where I used to be.
LOMAN: Where was that?
JOCASTA: Limbo. The old Limbo. All grey. Nothing much happened. You never saw anybody—just drifting shadows. This is more like a resort. We’ve got a pool, weight rooms, regular bridge and canasta. Even Bingo. Twice a week.
LOMAN: I guess that helps pass the time.
JOCASTA: You got it. (Second woman clears throat ostentatiously, coughs) Oh, I’m sorry. I keep forgetting. He’s all yours.
SECOND WOMAN: I’m counting on that! Welcome to Limbo, Mr. Loman. Or (she smiles, seductively, looking him up and down)—may I call you “Willy”?
LOMAN: (A subdued doubletake would not be out of place here.) (Gulps). Uuuhhh, sure, “Willy” is fine.
SECOND WOMAN: I represent the Limbo Welcome Wagon. We’re here to see that you find your way around our little Paradise. (Jocasta coughs, shakes her head disapproving). Well, perhaps the wrong choice of words. (She laughs, gaily and charmingly). But we don’t want you to miss out on anything while you figure out where things are, and where to buy things!
LOMAN: Well, gee, thanks, uhh—what did you say your name is?
SECOND WOMAN: Cleopatra’s the name, hospitality is my game! (Laughs enticingly). This basket’s for newcomers! (Thrusts basket toward Loman. He recoils.)
LOMAN: Gee, well, thanks any way, Cleopatra. Awfully nice of you, but still . . .
CLEOPATRA: Oh, don’t worry. There’s no asp in the basket, just an assortment of baked goods from the Elysium Bakery, some fruit from the Snow White Orchards on the south side of town, and some freshly bottled wine from the Edge Wineries.
LOMAN: Oh, ok. (Takes basket.)
CLEOPATRA: Oh, I forgot to mention the coupons! I have coupons for discounts at the Purgatory discount pharmacy—well, I guess that’s not really germane, is it? But I have coupons for various stories at the Gehenna mall for you, along with maps of the town. (Reaches into a large bag and pulls out a handful of coupons which she thrusts at Willy.) Let’s see—here are some for the tobacco shop. Good for cigars and cigarettes!
LOMAN: I don’t smoke. Stopped ten years ago. Doctor’s orders.
CLEOPATRA: Well, that doesn’t matter anymore, does it? (Laughs happily. Willy, a bit startled, joins in after a beat.) And here’s an invitation to the social at the Elks’ Club this week. Do you like to dance, Willy?
LOMAN: You have Elks here? Any Rotary?
CLEOPATRA: We don’t have Elks. Just the Club building. None of the fraternal orders are here. They don’t believe in us. But you haven’t answered my question!
LOMAN: I’m sorry—what did you ask me? Didn’t I answer?
CLEOPATRA: No, you didn’t. I asked, do you like to dance?
JOCASTA: Cleopatra, for goodness sake! The poor man’s just gotten here, after a pretty traumatic experience that ended a pretty traumatic several months, and you’re grilling him about his social habits!
LOMAN: Oh, that’s alright. I really don’t mind. And besides, I like talking to attractive women, no matter how much trouble I’ve been through.
CLEOPATRA: (Takes his arm.) We’ll get along just fine, Willy. You’ll find there are a lot of interesting people here in Limbo. It’s much better than . . .
JOCASTA: (Cuts her off) Cleopatra! You know better than . . . That is, Mr. Loman’s just arrived. Give him a chance to get settled in, meet a few people. (Closes ledger, gets up) Well, just follow me. We’ve set aside a nice apartment for you. You’re right next to Cio-Cio-San. Nice girl, even if she does stay up all night.
CLEOPATRA: (Not letting go of his arm.) I’m down the hall—apartment A. Come by for a drink after you get settled in. I make a great martini.
LOMAN: Thanks. Maybe Linda and I’ll take you up on that. It’ll be good to be off the road.
JOCASTA: Linda’s not here. And she won’t be. You’re on your own now.
LOMAN: What do you mean? Linda would never leave me. I mean, I know I wasn’t the greatest husband, but I knew I could always count on her.
JOCASTA: She didn’t leave you. You left her. (Points to steering wheel.) The tree, remember?
LOMAN: Oh. I forgot. It’ll take me a while to adjust.
CLEOPATRA: It takes everybody a little time. But something tells me you’ll fit in just fine. (She takes his arm.) Let me show you the way…
LOMAN: To go home? (He laughs. As they exit) Do you need any nylons?
(Shaking her head, JOCASTA follows)
End.
Limbo, Ohio
a short play
by Alan Woods
Columbus, Ohio
alan0198@yahoo.com
A woman at a desk, with a ledger. A second woman, with heavy kohl around her eyes, sits next to her, a large closed basket at her feet. A middle-aged man, unprepossessing, wearing a coat and carrying a car’s steering wheel, enters, looking around, bewildered. Woman at the desk looks up.
WOMAN: Name?
MAN: What?
WOMAN (with a hint of impatience): Name?
MAN: Where am I?
WOMAN: Look, just give me your name. OK? I have a procedure to follow here.
MAN: But just a minute ago, I
WOMAN (cutting him off): Nothing special about that. What is your name?!?
MAN: Oh. Loman.
WOMAN (looking in ledger): Willy Loman?
LOMAN: Yes.
WOMAN: You’re late.
LOMAN: What?
WOMAN: You’re late. You were scheduled to be here yesterday.
LOMAN: I don’t remember any appointments yesterday. I was home yesterday. Oh, and I went to see Howard. And Biff stole the…. So I thought I’d give him a start by…. Oh. But… Where am I? Where is this?
WOMAN: Limbo.
LOMAN: Limbo?
WOMAN: Limbo, Ohio. We’re about 30 miles south of Elyria. And before you ask, no, we’re not on most maps. There’s really only one way to get here.
LOMAN: The last thing I remember is aiming the car towards that tree.
WOMAN: Well, you connected. (She points to the steering wheel.)
LOMAN (he looks at wheel): Oh. So how did I get here? This must be more than a day’s drive from the Bronx.
WOMAN (chuckles): Not if you come via the tree route. That’s one of the more usual ways to get here.
LOMAN: Oh? What are the others?
WOMAN: Mostly guns. That’s how Hedda got here. And the Mannons. Or ropes. That was my ticket. Then there’s the occasional stabbing. Juliet had to do that, though she tried poison. That was Romeo’s trip. At least you didn’t try floating down a river singing songs like Ophelia. Talk about stupid!
LOMAN: That sounds like how people die.
WOMAN: It is. More precisely, how they kill themselves.
LOMAN: Oh. So I’m –
WOMAN: Yep. Wrapped right around that tree. Pretty dramatic. (Laughs. Willy doesn’t.) Inside joke, I guess.
LOMAN: You too?
WOMAN: Everybody here. (She stands.) They call me Jocasta. I was a queen once. And a mother. Did you have kids?
LOMAN: Two. Both boys. Both had real promising futures. Both turned out to be failures. But I hope that with the insurance money….
JOCASTA: Forget that. They don’t pay when it’s suicide.
LOMAN: Oh. Shit! Forgot that part! Did you have kids?
JOCASTA: Two daughters. And a son.
LOMAN: They turn out OK?
JOCASTA: Don’t ask.
LOMAN: So this is really Limbo?
JOCASTA: Yes. Limbo, Ohio.
LOMAN: Why is Limbo in Ohio?
JOCASTA: They couldn’t think of anyplace that was more in-between. I don’t know it, myself. Haven’t left this place since I got here. Of course we can’t leave.
LOMAN: I sold in Ohio. Or tried to sell in Ohio. I think it was that last trip to Tuscarawas County that did me in. Didn’t sell a thing. They’re right. It’s all in-between. Too dull for heaven, too boring for hell. So we’re stuck here?
JOCASTA: Yeah. It’s better than where I used to be.
LOMAN: Where was that?
JOCASTA: Limbo. The old Limbo. All grey. Nothing much happened. You never saw anybody—just drifting shadows. This is more like a resort. We’ve got a pool, weight rooms, regular bridge and canasta. Even Bingo. Twice a week.
LOMAN: I guess that helps pass the time.
JOCASTA: You got it. (Second woman clears throat ostentatiously, coughs) Oh, I’m sorry. I keep forgetting. He’s all yours.
SECOND WOMAN: I’m counting on that! Welcome to Limbo, Mr. Loman. Or (she smiles, seductively, looking him up and down)—may I call you “Willy”?
LOMAN: (A subdued doubletake would not be out of place here.) (Gulps). Uuuhhh, sure, “Willy” is fine.
SECOND WOMAN: I represent the Limbo Welcome Wagon. We’re here to see that you find your way around our little Paradise. (Jocasta coughs, shakes her head disapproving). Well, perhaps the wrong choice of words. (She laughs, gaily and charmingly). But we don’t want you to miss out on anything while you figure out where things are, and where to buy things!
LOMAN: Well, gee, thanks, uhh—what did you say your name is?
SECOND WOMAN: Cleopatra’s the name, hospitality is my game! (Laughs enticingly). This basket’s for newcomers! (Thrusts basket toward Loman. He recoils.)
LOMAN: Gee, well, thanks any way, Cleopatra. Awfully nice of you, but still . . .
CLEOPATRA: Oh, don’t worry. There’s no asp in the basket, just an assortment of baked goods from the Elysium Bakery, some fruit from the Snow White Orchards on the south side of town, and some freshly bottled wine from the Edge Wineries.
LOMAN: Oh, ok. (Takes basket.)
CLEOPATRA: Oh, I forgot to mention the coupons! I have coupons for discounts at the Purgatory discount pharmacy—well, I guess that’s not really germane, is it? But I have coupons for various stories at the Gehenna mall for you, along with maps of the town. (Reaches into a large bag and pulls out a handful of coupons which she thrusts at Willy.) Let’s see—here are some for the tobacco shop. Good for cigars and cigarettes!
LOMAN: I don’t smoke. Stopped ten years ago. Doctor’s orders.
CLEOPATRA: Well, that doesn’t matter anymore, does it? (Laughs happily. Willy, a bit startled, joins in after a beat.) And here’s an invitation to the social at the Elks’ Club this week. Do you like to dance, Willy?
LOMAN: You have Elks here? Any Rotary?
CLEOPATRA: We don’t have Elks. Just the Club building. None of the fraternal orders are here. They don’t believe in us. But you haven’t answered my question!
LOMAN: I’m sorry—what did you ask me? Didn’t I answer?
CLEOPATRA: No, you didn’t. I asked, do you like to dance?
JOCASTA: Cleopatra, for goodness sake! The poor man’s just gotten here, after a pretty traumatic experience that ended a pretty traumatic several months, and you’re grilling him about his social habits!
LOMAN: Oh, that’s alright. I really don’t mind. And besides, I like talking to attractive women, no matter how much trouble I’ve been through.
CLEOPATRA: (Takes his arm.) We’ll get along just fine, Willy. You’ll find there are a lot of interesting people here in Limbo. It’s much better than . . .
JOCASTA: (Cuts her off) Cleopatra! You know better than . . . That is, Mr. Loman’s just arrived. Give him a chance to get settled in, meet a few people. (Closes ledger, gets up) Well, just follow me. We’ve set aside a nice apartment for you. You’re right next to Cio-Cio-San. Nice girl, even if she does stay up all night.
CLEOPATRA: (Not letting go of his arm.) I’m down the hall—apartment A. Come by for a drink after you get settled in. I make a great martini.
LOMAN: Thanks. Maybe Linda and I’ll take you up on that. It’ll be good to be off the road.
JOCASTA: Linda’s not here. And she won’t be. You’re on your own now.
LOMAN: What do you mean? Linda would never leave me. I mean, I know I wasn’t the greatest husband, but I knew I could always count on her.
JOCASTA: She didn’t leave you. You left her. (Points to steering wheel.) The tree, remember?
LOMAN: Oh. I forgot. It’ll take me a while to adjust.
CLEOPATRA: It takes everybody a little time. But something tells me you’ll fit in just fine. (She takes his arm.) Let me show you the way…
LOMAN: To go home? (He laughs. As they exit) Do you need any nylons?
(Shaking her head, JOCASTA follows)
End.
Limbo, Ohio 2 characters
a short play
Limbo, Ohio
a short play
by Alan Woods
Columbus, Ohio
alan0198@yahoo.com
A woman at a desk, with a ledger. A middle-aged man, unprepossessing, wearing a coat and carrying a car’s steering wheel, enters, looking around, bewildered. Woman looks up.
WOMAN: Name?
MAN: What?
WOMAN (with a hint of impatience): Name?
MAN: Where am I?
WOMAN: Look, just give me your name. OK? I have a procedure to follow here.
MAN: But just a minute ago, I
WOMAN (cutting him off): Nothing special about that. What is your name?!?
MAN: Oh. Loman.
WOMAN (looking in ledger): Willy Loman?
LOMAN: Yes.
WOMAN: You’re late.
LOMAN: What?
WOMAN: You’re late. You were scheduled to be here yesterday.
LOMAN: I don’t remember any appointments yesterday. I was home yesterday. Oh, and I went to see Howard. And Biff stole the…. So I thought I’d give him a start by…. Oh. But… Where am I? Where is this?
WOMAN: Limbo.
LOMAN: Limbo?
WOMAN: Limbo, Ohio. We’re about 30 miles south of Elyria. And before you ask, no, we’re not on most maps. There’s really only one way to get here.
LOMAN: The last thing I remember is aiming the car towards that tree.
WOMAN: Well, you connected. (She points to the steering wheel.)
LOMAN (he looks at wheel): Oh. So how did I get here? This must be more than a day’s drive from the Bronx.
WOMAN (chuckles): Not if you come via the tree route. That’s one of the more usual ways to get here.
LOMAN: Oh? What are the others?
WOMAN: Mostly guns. That’s how Hedda got here. And the Mannons. Or ropes. That was my ticket. Then there’s the occasional stabbing. Juliet had to do that, though she tried poison. That was Romeo’s trip. At least you didn’t try floating down a river singing songs like Ophelia. Talk about stupid!
LOMAN: That sounds like how people die.
WOMAN: It is. More precisely, how they kill themselves.
LOMAN: Oh. So I’m –
WOMAN: Yep. Wrapped right around that tree. Pretty dramatic. (Laughs. Willy doesn’t.) Inside joke, I guess.
LOMAN: You too?
WOMAN: Everybody here. (She stands.) They call me Jocasta. I was a queen once. And a mother. Did you have kids?
LOMAN: Two. Both boys. Both had real promising futures. Both turned out to be failures. But I hope that with the insurance money….
JOCASTA: Forget that. They don’t pay when it’s suicide.
LOMAN: Oh. Shit! Forgot that part! Did you have kids?
JOCASTA: Two daughters. And a son.
LOMAN: They turn out OK?
JOCASTA: Don’t ask.
LOMAN: So this is really Limbo?
JOCASTA: Yes. Limbo, Ohio.
LOMAN: Why is Limbo in Ohio?
JOCASTA: They couldn’t think of anyplace that was more in-between. I don’t know it, myself. Haven’t left this place since I got here. Of course we can’t leave.
LOMAN: I sold in Ohio. Or tried to sell in Ohio. I think it was that last trip to Tuscarawas County that did me in. Didn’t sell a thing. They’re right. It’s all in-between. Too dull for heaven, too boring for hell. So we’re stuck here? In Ohio?
JOCASTA: Yeah. It’s better than where I used to be. At least Columbus is. Cleveland’s not much different.
LOMAN: Where was that?
JOCASTA: Limbo. The old Limbo. All grey. Nothing much happened. You never saw anybody—just drifting shadows. This is more like a resort. We’ve got a pool, weight rooms, regular bridge and canasta. Even Bingo. Twice a week.
LOMAN: I guess that helps pass the time.
JOCASTA: You got it. (Closes ledger, gets up) Well, just follow me. We’ve set aside a nice apartment for you. You’re right next to Cio-Cio-San. Nice girl, even if she does stay up all night. I’m down the hall—apartment T. Come by for a drink after you get settled in. I make a great martini.
LOMAN: Thanks. Maybe Linda and I’ll take you up on that. It’ll be good to be off the road.
JOCASTA: Linda’s not here. And she won’t be. You’re on your own now.
LOMAN: What do you mean? Linda would never leave me. I mean, I know I wasn’t the greatest husband, but I knew I could always count on her.
JOCASTA: She didn’t leave you. You left her. Remember the tree? (Points to the steering wheel that Willy still holds.)
LOMAN: Oh. I forgot. It’ll take me a while to adjust.
JOCASTA: It takes everybody a little time. But something tells me you’ll fit in just fine. (She takes his arm.) Let me show you the way…
LOMAN: To go home? (He laughs. As they exit) Do you need any nylons?
End.
Limbo, Ohio
a short play
by Alan Woods
Columbus, Ohio
alan0198@yahoo.com
A woman at a desk, with a ledger. A middle-aged man, unprepossessing, wearing a coat and carrying a car’s steering wheel, enters, looking around, bewildered. Woman looks up.
WOMAN: Name?
MAN: What?
WOMAN (with a hint of impatience): Name?
MAN: Where am I?
WOMAN: Look, just give me your name. OK? I have a procedure to follow here.
MAN: But just a minute ago, I
WOMAN (cutting him off): Nothing special about that. What is your name?!?
MAN: Oh. Loman.
WOMAN (looking in ledger): Willy Loman?
LOMAN: Yes.
WOMAN: You’re late.
LOMAN: What?
WOMAN: You’re late. You were scheduled to be here yesterday.
LOMAN: I don’t remember any appointments yesterday. I was home yesterday. Oh, and I went to see Howard. And Biff stole the…. So I thought I’d give him a start by…. Oh. But… Where am I? Where is this?
WOMAN: Limbo.
LOMAN: Limbo?
WOMAN: Limbo, Ohio. We’re about 30 miles south of Elyria. And before you ask, no, we’re not on most maps. There’s really only one way to get here.
LOMAN: The last thing I remember is aiming the car towards that tree.
WOMAN: Well, you connected. (She points to the steering wheel.)
LOMAN (he looks at wheel): Oh. So how did I get here? This must be more than a day’s drive from the Bronx.
WOMAN (chuckles): Not if you come via the tree route. That’s one of the more usual ways to get here.
LOMAN: Oh? What are the others?
WOMAN: Mostly guns. That’s how Hedda got here. And the Mannons. Or ropes. That was my ticket. Then there’s the occasional stabbing. Juliet had to do that, though she tried poison. That was Romeo’s trip. At least you didn’t try floating down a river singing songs like Ophelia. Talk about stupid!
LOMAN: That sounds like how people die.
WOMAN: It is. More precisely, how they kill themselves.
LOMAN: Oh. So I’m –
WOMAN: Yep. Wrapped right around that tree. Pretty dramatic. (Laughs. Willy doesn’t.) Inside joke, I guess.
LOMAN: You too?
WOMAN: Everybody here. (She stands.) They call me Jocasta. I was a queen once. And a mother. Did you have kids?
LOMAN: Two. Both boys. Both had real promising futures. Both turned out to be failures. But I hope that with the insurance money….
JOCASTA: Forget that. They don’t pay when it’s suicide.
LOMAN: Oh. Shit! Forgot that part! Did you have kids?
JOCASTA: Two daughters. And a son.
LOMAN: They turn out OK?
JOCASTA: Don’t ask.
LOMAN: So this is really Limbo?
JOCASTA: Yes. Limbo, Ohio.
LOMAN: Why is Limbo in Ohio?
JOCASTA: They couldn’t think of anyplace that was more in-between. I don’t know it, myself. Haven’t left this place since I got here. Of course we can’t leave.
LOMAN: I sold in Ohio. Or tried to sell in Ohio. I think it was that last trip to Tuscarawas County that did me in. Didn’t sell a thing. They’re right. It’s all in-between. Too dull for heaven, too boring for hell. So we’re stuck here? In Ohio?
JOCASTA: Yeah. It’s better than where I used to be. At least Columbus is. Cleveland’s not much different.
LOMAN: Where was that?
JOCASTA: Limbo. The old Limbo. All grey. Nothing much happened. You never saw anybody—just drifting shadows. This is more like a resort. We’ve got a pool, weight rooms, regular bridge and canasta. Even Bingo. Twice a week.
LOMAN: I guess that helps pass the time.
JOCASTA: You got it. (Closes ledger, gets up) Well, just follow me. We’ve set aside a nice apartment for you. You’re right next to Cio-Cio-San. Nice girl, even if she does stay up all night. I’m down the hall—apartment T. Come by for a drink after you get settled in. I make a great martini.
LOMAN: Thanks. Maybe Linda and I’ll take you up on that. It’ll be good to be off the road.
JOCASTA: Linda’s not here. And she won’t be. You’re on your own now.
LOMAN: What do you mean? Linda would never leave me. I mean, I know I wasn’t the greatest husband, but I knew I could always count on her.
JOCASTA: She didn’t leave you. You left her. Remember the tree? (Points to the steering wheel that Willy still holds.)
LOMAN: Oh. I forgot. It’ll take me a while to adjust.
JOCASTA: It takes everybody a little time. But something tells me you’ll fit in just fine. (She takes his arm.) Let me show you the way…
LOMAN: To go home? (He laughs. As they exit) Do you need any nylons?
End.
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